LONGEST MARRIED COUPLE, 85 years..

I received this email from mom and I would like to share it to dear readers.
Hope this able to provide some reflection to our life about what Love & Marriage is..
Take your time to read it.. :)

Meet Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of North Carolina . They have been married 85 years (86 in May) and hold the Guinness World Record for the longest marriage of a living couple and get this…. Zelmyra is 101 years old and Herbert is 104.

The happily married couple teamed up with twitter this Valentine’s Day to answer some relationship questions. Check out their take on finding love, getting through hard times and more. Good read.

1. What made you realize that you could spend the rest of your lives together? Were you scared at all?
H & Z: With each day that passed, our relationship was more solid and secure.Divorce was NEVER an option - or even a thought.

2. How did you know your spouse was the right one for you?
We grew up together & were best friends before we married. A friend is for life - our marriage has lasted a lifetime.

3. Is there anything you would do differently after more than 80 years of marriage?We wouldn’t change a thing. There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other & our family.

4. What is your advice to someone who is trying to keep the faith that Mr. Right is really out there?
Zelmyra: Mine was just around the corner! He is never too far away, so keep the faith - when you meet him, you’ll know.

5. What was the best piece of marriage advice you ever received?
Respect, support & communicate with each other.Be faithful, honest & true.Love each other with ALL of your heart.

6. What are the most important attributes of a good spouse?
Zelmyra: A hard worker & good provider.The 1920s were hard,but Herbert wanted & provided the best for us.I married a good man!

7. What is your best Valentine’s Day memory?
Zelmyra: I cook dinner EVERY day.Herbert left work early & surprised me – he cooked dinner for me! He is a VERY good cook!
Herbert: I said that I was going to cook dinner for her & she could relax - the look on her face & clean plate made my day!

8. You got married very young – how did u both manage to grow as individuals yet not grow apart as a couple?
“Everyone who plants a seed & harvests the crop celebrates together” We are individuals, but accomplish more together.

9. What is your fondest memory of your 85-year marriage?
Our legacy: 5 children, 10 grandchildren, 9 great-grandchildren, and 1 great-great grandchild.

10. Does communicating get easier with time? How do you keep your patience?The children are grown, so we talk more now. We can enjoy our time on the porch or our rocking chairs - together.

11. How did you cope when you had to be physically separated for long periods of time?
Herbert: We were apart for 2 months when Z was hospitalized with our 5th child. It was the most difficult time of my life. Zelmyra’s mother helped me with the house and the other children, otherwise I would have lost my mind.

12. At the end of bad relationship day, what is the most important thing to remind yourselves?
Remember marriage is not a contest – never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win.

13. Is fighting important?
NEVER physically! Agree that it’s okay to disagree, & fight for what really matters. Learn to bend - not break!

14. What’s the one thing you have in common that transcends everything else?
We are both Christians & believe in God. Marriage is a commitment to the Lord.We pray with & for each other every day.

The Worst Words to Say at Work

9 common words and phrases that will make you sound noncommittal, undependable, and untrustworthy. Some words and phrases are often used to buy time, avoid giving answers, and escape commitment. If you use these words and phrases yourself, take a scalpel and cut them out of your thinking, speaking, and writing.

"Try"

"Try" is a weasel word. "Well, I'll try," some people say. It's a cop-out. They're just giving you lip service, when they probably have no real intention of doing what you ask. Remember what Yoda says to Luke Skywalker in "Star Wars": "Do or do not--there is no try." Take Yoda's advice. Give it your all when you do something. And if it doesn't work, start over.Put passion into your work, and give it your best effort, so you can know that you did all you could to make it happen. So if the outcome you were expecting didn't come to fruition, it's not because you didn't do everything you could to make it happen. It just wasn't the right time for it or it wasn't meant to be.

"Whatever"

This word is a trusted favorite of people who want to dismiss you, diminish what you say, or get rid of you quickly. "Whatever," they will say as an all-purpose response to your earnest request. It's an insult and a verbal slap in the face. It's a way to respond to a person without actually responding. When you say "whatever" after another person has said his or her piece, you have essentially put up a wall between the two of you and halted any progress in communicating. It's a word to avoid.

"Maybe" and "I don't know"

People will sometimes avoid making a decision--and hide behind words and phrases like "maybe" and "I don't know." There's a difference between legitimately not knowing something and using words like these as excuses. Sometimes during a confrontation, people will claim not to know something or offer the noncommittal response "maybe," just to avoid being put on the spot. If that seems to be the case, ask, "When do you think you will know?" or "How can you find out?" Don't let the person off the hook so easily

"I'll get back to you"

When people need to buy time or avoid revealing a project's status, they will say, "I'll get back to you," and they usually never do. If people say they will get back to you, always clarify. Ask them when they will get back to you, and make sure they specify the day and time. If they don't, then pin them down to a day and time and hold them to it. If they won't give you a day or time, tell them you'll call in a day or week and follow up. Make sure you call and get the information you need.

"If"

Projects depend on everyone doing his or her part. People who use "if" are usually playing the blame game and betting against themselves. They like to set conditions, rather than assuming a successful outcome. People who rely on conditional responses are fortifying themselves against potential failure. They will say, "If Bob finishes his part, then I can do my part." They're laying the groundwork for a "no fault" excuse and for not finishing their work.There are always alternatives, other routes, and ways to get the job done. Excuse makers usually have the energy of a slug and the spine of a jellyfish. You don't want them on your team when you're trying to climb Mt. Everest.

"Yes, but . . ."

This is another excuse. You might give your team members suggestions or solutions, and they come back to you with "Yes, but . . ." as a response. They don't really want answers, help, or solutions. You need to call the "Yes, but . . ." people out on their avoidance tactic by saying something like "You know, Jackie, every time I offer you a suggestion you say, 'Yes, but . . . ,' which makes me think you don't really want to solve this problem. That's not going to work. If you want to play the victim, go right ahead, but I'm not going to allow you to keep this up." After a response like that, you can be assured that the next words you hear will not be "Yes, but . . ."!

"I guess . . ."

This is usually said in a weak, soft-spoken, shoulder-shrugging manner. It's another attempt to shirk responsibility--a phrase that is muttered only when people half agree with you but want to leave enough leeway to say, "Well, I didn't really know. . . . I was only guessing." If you use this phrase, cut it out of your vocabulary.

"We'll see . . ."

How many times did we hear our parents say this? We knew they were buying time, avoiding a fight or confrontation, or really saying no. It's better to be decisive and honest by saying, "I need more information. Please present your case or send me the data--both pro and con--so I can make an informed decision." That way, the interested parties will contribute to an in-depth, well-researched "verdict."

Source : http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-articles-the_worst_words_to_say_at_work-1250

Stella’s thought:
The hardest thing at work is to build confident in anything you do. I mean, whether it is the right thing to do or not. It is more difficult if you are the person who is responsible to make a decision and at the end of the day you are to be blamed if things are not in the right path. But, these all are the process of life that make us grow strength towards our mentality and decision making skill. No matter what words you use at work, I think there’s must be a good reason behind it and we should take it in a positive way. If these always happen, it is important to analyze things before making any decision by concerning bad and good impact to the company.

That’s what we called life, we always live to learn.. :)

Mom’s Celebration

It’s once a year celebration,
To appreciates moms all over the world.

We celebrated it last night (9th May 2010) at Grace Point.

I just wanna say,

I Love U Mom, Thanks for everything..

-The whole family-

-2 mothers ; Mother in-law & My mom-

My Next Movie Hunt.. :)

After Ip Man 2, my next Movie Hunt is Iron Man 2..

Gotta watch it soon.. ;)

10 Tips to Build Happiness at Work

1. Throw Out Labels
We spend most of our lives instantly judging things that happen to us. It's raining: Bad. No bonus this year: Very bad. The boss is out of town: Very good. Author of Happiness At Work Srikumar Rao, Ph.D., says you can boost your sense of calm by turning off the mental labels. If you decide something is bad, it most likely will be, he says.

2. Let It Go
When something throws you off, being able to let it go quickly will exponentially increase your happiness at work. The ability to move on--resilience--enables you to handle work challenges with composure and strength. Instead of focusing on how bad a situation is, focus on how to fix it or the next step.

3. Write A To-Do List
It's hard to feel resilient when you also feel like you have no power over your work day. You can take some of that control back by writing a to-do list and completing tasks in that order. Also, limiting distractions by scheduling times to check e-mail or social networking sites will help keep you on task and feeling productive.

4. Focus And Engage
Disengaged worker-zombies do nothing for the company or for individual morale. If you are able to get excited about your work and focus on it with full attention, time will go by faster and the experience will be much more pleasant.

5. Quiet Mental Chatter
A constant stream of negative thoughts sends many workers into a downward spiral of unhappiness. Quiet the chaos by redirecting your thoughts. Think of a positive memory and create a mental image of it. The next time you have an idle moment, instead of surfing the Web, draw up this mental screensaver. Replay this in order to reset your mind and scale back the negative.

6. Find Restorative Time
Workplaces are stressful and you need to cope. But "alcohol and TV won't help," says happiness author Jessica Pryce-Jones. Instead, set aside some time each day to recharge. Taking a peaceful walk at lunch rather than mindlessly eating at your desk will restore calm. Maybe a warm bath in the evening or fun book for the commute are your fix-its. Experiment and find what works for you.

7. Connect To Your Values
People who feel more connected to the company's mission and feel like their work is valuable or meaningful are more likely to be happy on the job. If you begin to feel like your work is meaningless, look at the big picture: Work for a pharmaceuticals company? Think of the lives being saved. Or, consider how showing up each day aligns with your personal values. The money you earn supports your life outside of work, and whether that's your family or a hobby, it's a good reason to keep coming in with a smile.

8. We're The Same
It's easy to put people--colleagues, bosses, clients--into categories. People I don't like; people I do like. Me vs. them. A simple way to make work relationships more pleasant is by finding common ground. Consider what makes you similar to your co-workers rather than different and the dynamics of the relationship will change. Social interactions play a huge part in your happiness on the job, so it should prove a good investment of your time and energy.

9. Feel Compassion For A Toxic Boss
The No. 1 reason employees leave a company is because of a bad boss. They're everywhere, and you're likely working with one. See a boss for who he or she really is, he advises, and feel compassion for them: "You have to put up with her a couple hours a week and she has to put up with herself her whole life." Picturing that a toxic boss as a child having a temper tantrum. When you remember the negativity is all about them, not you, you'll be better able to shrug it off.

10. Know When To Leave
You can do everything right and still be dissatisfied with your job. If you've tried everything in your power to make a situation work and you're still unhappy, that's when it's time to leave. Situations can be salvageable, and it's in your best interest to admit it and move on. Workers spend an average of 90,000 hours at work in their lifetimes. You owe it to yourself--and your health--to discover happiness on and off the clock.


Source : http://www.forbes.com/2010/03/04/happiness-work-resilience-forbes-woman-well-being-satisfaction.html


Stella’s thought :
It does all depend on yourself how you want to be at work. Be grateful for the job u had and it is much better to think positively in anything you do, in everyday life. Life will be meaningful and joyful if you want it to be that way.. ;)

Spread the LOVE..

Now Hollywood wants to make you think they know what Love is.

But I'm a tell you what true Love is.

Love is not what you see in the movies.

Its not the ecstasy, its not what you see in that scene,

you know what I mean?

I'm telling you right now,

true Love is sacrifice.

Love is thinking about others before you think about yourself,

Love is selfless not selfish.

Love is God and God is love.

Love is when you lay down your life for another,

whether for your brother, your mother, your father or your sister,

its even laying down your life for your enemies,

that's unthinkable, but think about that.

Love is true.

Think.

Love is patient, Love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes, it always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Love is everlasting, its eternal,

it goes on and on, it goes beyond time,

love is the only thing that will last when you die,

but ask the question why?

Do you have Love?

There is no greater love than this

than he who lays down his life for his friends.

Now are you willing to lay down your life for your friends?

You're probably willing to lay down your life for your mother, your father,

or your best friends, but are you willing to lay down your life

for even those that hate you?

I'm going to tell you who did that,

the definition of Love is Jesus Christ.

He is LOVE.

The nails in his hands, the thorns in his brow,

hanging on a cross for your sin my sins,

that is LOVE he died for you and me while we still hated him,

that is Love.

God is true Love, and if you don't know this Love,

now is the time to know,

PERFECT LOVE..

That is the lyric of a song that really touched me.. Some of you might not know this song, so I share this with you.. If this song touched your heart and soul, please spread the LOVE to all your friends, family and people you know. ONE LOVE! ..

Ip Man 2

I watched this movie last Saturday at GSC One Borneo. The story is about how Ip Man (main character) wanted to spread out his Kung Fu teaching in Hong Kong and how he really made those British respect the Chinese Kung Fu art.

Now showing in most cinema in Malaysia.

Come and watch yourself, no regret. :)

For more review about Ip Man 2, click here.

Unforgettable Weekend

We are in the month of May now.. Time flies really fast not as I imagine. That is the reason why it is really nice to fill our life with happiness and unforgettable moment. Cherish every moment we had and make all those around us happy and easy. As written in my last post, one word : Excited. That was the moment when I was waiting to go for a short vacation with my family. You can call it a short weekend trip.. Indeed yes, it was a short weekend vacation though. I was so excited because it feels that it has been long time since my last vacation.

It was last Saturday, 24th April 2010. I went to Kundasang after work since it was half day work for Saturday. Even though it took nearly 2 hours to reached there since it was quite traffic congestion and a little raining, I never felt tired at all. As the excitement worked up all in my mind while I was driving up to the place of Kundasang, imagining the place where most of us know that, it is known well with its cool, breezing wind and nice place giving me full of energy to be there.

For the record, this was the first time I went to Zen Garden Resort, the place where we stayed for a night. So, I keep imagine how is the place.. After all, for sure you will amaze by the scenery of Mount Kinabalu and how you're being so grateful and proud to be born in Sabah. The weather absolutely different from KK, the weather is cool with fresh air plus mesmerizing scenery especially in the morning and evening. We stayed in a lodge where it’s more like a house with 3 bedrooms, a living room, dining room and kitchen. You can cook for lunch, dinner and breakfast. A barbeque equipment also provided there.

For those who never been in Zen Garden Resort before, I suggest you go for vacation there together with family or loved one. Experience it yourself.. It is absolutely suitable place to release some stress and let your mind feel the relaxation far from traffic and busy life in KK city. Besides, it can grow your relationship bond become closer between each other. It is the most precious thing of spending time together in vacation.

For more info about Zen Garden Resort place and rates, please click here.

Here are some of the pics taken at Kundasang..

-Mount Kinabalu view from Zen Garden Resort-

-We, the family-

-Behind us, the Mount Kinabalu-


-At Kundasang War Memorial, about 10-15 mins from Zen Garden Resort-


- I love those pine trees around Zen Garden-


-Absolutely, a place to remember...-